That Wasn’t Kind or Thoughtful

Regardless if you have great advertisement, artwork, product placement, or celebrity endorsements, if your product fails to live up to expectations expect a call from the Sdyor family. In the past we have had conversations with General Mills over burnt clusters of Captain Crunch, with Near East over a box of rice pilaf missing a flavor packet, and a tomato company we can’t name under threat of lawsuit over what we can only determine was botulism resulting in an exploding can and a kitchen ceiling requiring a paint job.

Ann: “I’d like to speak with you regarding one of your products.”
Customer Service: “Wamp wam wa.
Ann: “Your pizza buns are much small than the photo shown on the box. I find that to be misleading. Also, it calls out a thoughtful serving as two pizza bites. I’m wondering how you came to that determination.”
Customer Service: “Wa wam wamp.

Ann: “That’s it! We are never purchasing their products again!”
Kire: “What happened?”
Ann: “Heather from the Midwest just called me fat!”
Kire: “Did she actually say that? Also how do you know her name or where she was?”
Ann: “She said the thoughtful serving was a kind way to remind people not to overindulge. The company is in Chicago, and she said ‘Hi, this is Heather. How can I assist you.”
Kire: “So what exactly…”
Ann: “NO MORE QUESTIONS! Just boycott them!”
James (Age 15): “What is all the yelling about?”
Ann: “The bitch from Chicago who called me fat!”
James: “Are you guys going to eat those pizza things?”
Ann: “Have at it. I didn’t even get the chance to tell Heather that her product tastes like cardboard and has a terrible filling.”
James: “What are they filled with?”

Ann: “Shame! They’re filled with shame!”