Earth’s Mightiest Jokesters

So all anyone can talk about is the last installment of the Avengers called “Endgame”. Clocking in at 2 hours and 29 minutes, it is enough film to make you want more while at the same time make you wish you had inserted a catheter prior.

If you are still one of the few that haven’t seen the film yet, like say you are a sniper in a blind who hasn’t moved in six days, or you’re on a secret deep space mission for Elon Musk, I won’t reveal anything that will cause you to beat me up in public.

The film has grossed enough to feed every man, woman, and child in the world for a month, fix the global warming crisis, and made the evil mouse company enough cash to pay off all the civil lawsuits that will be aimed at them from people who were beaten by mobs for yelling out film spoilers in public.

‘Avengers: Endgame’ ticks off all the boxes we’ve come to expect from long arcing, multi-films cranked out these days; a cavalcade of stars, hip cultural references that will seem quaint in a few decades (think Matthew Broderick saving the world in War Games with a Commodore 64), past star cameos, both living and dead (still creepy), plot lines and story threads that are left unexplained (so Youtuber fan boys can theorize why Rocket Raccoon really isn’t a racoon, or why Scooby Doo never poops), super-computers that can figure out time travel between dinner and bedtime… You get the idea.

Then there are the polarizing scenes that are meant to cover all the perceived segments of today’s society; awkward moments between LGBTQ characters, conciensious converations between social outsider characters, last-minute appearances by popular racial characters, the ever popular bunch of white-male characters being bossy, and the assembling of strong female characters in one place.

Ann: “Did you guys like the movie?”

Kire: “Yeah. It was a little weird at first because everyone was cheering at different parts of the film whenever their favorite character made an appearance. James and I were just looking at each other and laughing until we both did it about half-way through the film.

Ann: “This is one more reason I don’t watch those super hero movies. Everybody gets way too worked up about them.”

Kire: “There was one scene where all the female super heroes were in one shot, which I don’t think logistically could have ever happened, and all the women in the crowd starting going crazy, screaming and cheering.”

Ann: “Did all the female super heroes use the bathroom together? ‘Cause you know, that’s my super power. I can go alone.”

May Be Subject to Copyright (but too damn good not to use)

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